Pride goeth before a fall

I mean, you're pretty good looking, so that's 50% of the work

Thank you. I like to think I am. I mean, I'm hot as s***.

....you might want to use a better metaphor.

 

Laffalittle.

Heil!

There's this classmate of mine, this lovely specimen of a fellow, who must have a skewed perception of social norms and...our relationship? See, most people greet other people like this:

Sometimes like this...

Maybe this?

Occasionally....this.



But this person. Is the first person who has ever saluted me. 

Life is strange...

Social lubricant.

You just can't take your friends anywhere.

My lovelies planned a surprise visit to the local brewery for my birthday last Saturday.

The first part of the reason this is funny is because....well...I don't know how to say this....my body had already had enough of the liquid they were offering me the night before. Surprise bathroom visit.

However, mouths loosen up when beer is added to the equation. Not my mouths.

Mi amiga was chatting up the bartender, talking about good ol' times and beverage preferences. Amiga starts a conversation with the following words:

"So I like beer now, but freshman year my drink of choice wa....."

"I mean....."

"After I TURNED 21, my drink of choice was..."

*awkward drunk giggles and silence*

Social lubricant.

That's all.

The People We Love

As a few of my lovely friends and I were chatting around a beer, the Hobbit release came up (as we were planning a major LOTR marathon the day before).

One of my friends goes, "What is the Hobbit? I have no idea what it even is."

Blank stares.

Facepalm.

"Oh girl."

"What?? It's like the last Harry Potter movie, right?"

...


Laugh at the people you love.

Manders

Sleep Monster

My sleep deprivation has developed in stages since the dawn of my college career. It started out simple and innocent, missing a few hours here and there, but catching up on the weekends. Eventually, I started pulling all-nighters, sometimes quite frequently but it was fine because I was still young and versatile. Come junior year, I avoided sleep like the plague. Someone once told me that a sleep cycle (4 hours) is enough to function on. That person was so right and so wrong.

This year, I am an old person. Now, in my venerable old age, I have started spiking my coffee with coffee and having sleep-deprived manic panic attacks and early onset bedtime symptoms (which means, I started going to bed during class, piano lessons, morning jogs, and other relaxing activites of the sort).

My body has begun to fight back. It will be robbed of its precious sleep times no longer!!
I don't really know how to accurately describe what's happening here, but it's like my body and conscience have schemed together and created some sort of subconscious, demanding, spiteful alterego. So in the mornings, I try to wake up with enough time to get adequate sustenance and at least spend enough time in ths shower, but my alterego will not let me. It's not like it shuts me down and forces me to sleep through an alarm, it's like it shuts me down and takes over to get out of bed and TURN OFF all four of the alarms I set in the morning before putting me right back to bed.

I HAVE A JOB TO BE AT. I HAVE CLASSES TO ATTEND. THIS ISN'T FUNNY!

I tried changing my alarm tone, I tried setting even MORE alarms (ridiculous, right?), I tried putting my alarm on the other side of the room, despite having to wake my sleeping roommate. I've tried everything people.

Also, it knows what it's doing. It doesn't just let me sleep past my alarms, it wakes me up precisely 15 minutes before I have to be at class/work. Every single morning. Which leaves me just enough time to put a bra on and grab a bagel. I'm gonna be honest, it's best not to venture too close to me these days, because the likelihood of me brushing my teeth any given morning is slim.

laffalittle.

Manders