Master Commander

It's only 1 am and I know this will have been the highlight of my day today.

Happy Monday. Laugh a lot. 

The Laundry Disaster

Funny moment today and I started thinking about how I was going to word it in my blog so that other people would get it, you know? I think I do that sometimes, I experience this funny situation in my life that doesn't really come out well on paper. Well....."paper".

But I mean, sorry about it. No feedback? No complaining.

So, let's leave the funny inside joke story aside and I'll just tell you that my friends and I...we're hilarious. Honestly, come have dinner with us because it's funny. Not me, really, I just sit there silent-laughing so hard there's soup bubbling out of my mouth and running down my chin and into my lap.

Laughable moment #2 - the Laundry Disaster. (Dun dun duunnnnn)

I washed my comforter last night imagining how nice it would be to curl up into a clean fresh blankie when it was time to go to bed. Literally, I was envisioning this:

But no, that's not what happened. What really happened was the washing machine was thrown off balance because the comforter was shoved to one side, so it stopped halfway through the cycle. Which meeaaannnsss, my bedtime blankie was sitting in a puddle of cold, dank water when I went to fetch it. It was 2 in the morning. I was not prepared to deal with this. Literally. That machine needs a dollar to run and I didn't have any money. Slammed the lid shut and spent the rest of the night cursing my non-fluffy, non-detergent-smelling sheets.

The pseudo solution the next day was the funny part. I enlisted my friend Dan to help me problem solve, and the only workable solution we could come up with was to drag that 300 pound dripping wet blanket down the hallway and into the yard to wring it out so we could stick it in the dryer. At this point I had a dollar, but just one, so it was either the washing machine or dryer. Yeah, blankets made for queen beds hold a lot of water. Wringing it out was a bit ambitious. I think we managed to water the grass a little. I got a bath.

We couldn't put it in the dryer, we couldn't bring it back inside, I definitely couldn't sleep in it... Right now it's draped over my car, Harold, so there is one car in my college apartment complex parking lot that is...snuggling with a giant blankie. Tonight, Harold is going to sleep like that accursed little teddy bear and I'm back to seeing how many times I can roll myself in my sheets to get the maximum amount of layers covering my body.

Happy moment #1 - the feeling you get when someone gets up to help you wash the dinner dishes without saying a word.

laugh a little
<3 manders

Bleep

Today an old man told me that Gay was a beautiful last name! There's a first time for everything!

Laugh about it
<3 Manders

No cheese, please

This week has been kinda rough, not going to deny that. But I've found that the crappier the day gets, the more important it is to laugh, or at least force a smile from somewhere out of the depths of your belly. 

Today I attended a memorial service for a childhood friend of mine, and afterwards we went to his family's house to see people and have snacks and whatnot. I ran into one of our old "neighbors" (I say it like so because in rural Barnum, neighbors can live up to 5, 10 miles away) and her children that I hadn't seen in a few years. Children change so fast! How does something whose only noises used to be gurgling sounds made by the slobber rolling down its chin learn to say real words and steal food off people's plates? It's ridiculous. Said child was charming her way in and out of the crowds flashing her petite little smile (I don't know if it's appropriate to use that adjective/noun combination), which some innocent bystander must have been distracted by for just long enough for her to swipe a cheese stick off his or her plate. 

Which, by itself, still seems charming. One thing I've learned with little kids though is to never underestimate them, because charming turns into cunning reeeaaalll quick. After realizing she didn't actually want to eat the cheese stick, she knew she had to find some other, more entertaining use for it. After being cajoled and encouraged by many of the adults to use it as a weapon on any one of the other kids or to "give it to _____ as a present!", she finally managed to deposit on someone else's plate before they knew what was happening and before they could catch her fleeing the scene. I only know that because that plate happened to be my brother's and four of us were having a nice conversation as old friends when he looked down to find a squished, gnawed-on, slightly slobbery hunk of string cheese on his plate, with no little girl in sight. 

Well played, little girl. Well played. 

Maybe this was one of those moments where you had to be there. Regardless, my point is that it doesn't take an epic practical joke or Will Ferrell movie line to have a good laugh.

Earlier this week I lost a friend, but today I got to celebrate in the strength and the joy he left behind, the beauty he experienced in his lifetime, and the knowledge that he left us knowing he was going to be with the One who can love him more than anyone in this world can. Even when faced with the heartache of missing him, I realized that there is joy in knowing that regardless of time and distance's conspiracy to separate us and those we care about, some things don't change. Some people remain in your love forever. But heap your love on the ones life hasn't separated you from yet, because you don't know when it will happen. 

Today, the leaves were all shades of warm colors, the air was invigoratingly fresh, the fog was gently rising from the fields, and the setting sun was shedding its radiant light on everything as far as the eye could see. I couldn't have asked for a better way to say "Until later!"

Love and laugh always,

Manders

Stay out of the advertising business

Commercials. I think they're running out of ideas. I think they're getting ideas from the bottom of the barrel. From the bottom of the barrel on the bottom of the pile.

I sat down with my friend to watch Criminal Minds with my "roomie" last night (quality television AND hot guys). I don't even remember what the first commercial was about because I was too distracted by the awkward, gangly blond stroking the television screen with her pointer finger.

Weird as.

The commercial right after that was definitely trying to get me to buy Ragu spaghetti sauce by telling me my hamster wanted gray hair instead of white. And honestly, all I could think of was Gandalf the Gray and how that dang hamster should be grateful for his hair color because he didn't have to fight a balrog single-handed to get it.

Oh, it gets better. I then watched an entire mini-documentary on the size of humans ears. I don't know if ya'll were aware, but they're not actually round? Therefore, don't use those worthless round headphones, they won't work because your ears are not round, OH AND BUY AN IPHONE5!!!!!! Don't buy it because it's the thinnest, lightest, fastest phone ever, buy it because your ears have been severely misunderstood your whole life.

That's all, thanks. Remember, laugh a little!

<3 Manders

When the dead rise.

September 24, 2012

I already know the funniest part of my day! You know that feeling you get when you realize you've overslept and the world might as well just end? Yeah I had that.

Somehow the two alarms I set just weren't enough to get me out of bed. I'm sure it had NOTHING to do with the fact that I went to bed at 4 am. #ilovecollegggeee

So anyways, my work shift started at 8 this morning and I snapped myself awake at roughly 7:54. I sat up in bed so fast it was like fricken Lazarus coming to life. A good six minutes to get ready, right? I can probably even squeeze a tooth-brushing session in there. WRONG. Ladies and gentlemen, I live off campus, so give me a good three minutes to get there on my bike and subtract that from my getting ready time.

Moral of the story, don't get too close to me today. I am a morning-breathed, yesterday's clothes, showerless, coffee-less, (braless) kind of person today and I did not eat breakfast. Send Tony the Tiger on over, I need some Wheaties.

<3 Laugh a little
Manders

Permabrows

I realized I really miss blogging and I can't possibly expect that my life in Minnesota will hoard nearly as many blog hits and followers as my life in Australia. Therefore, a blog about my life is just an invitation to get my hopes up and have them smashed to pieces.

No thanks.

So in the spirit of entertaining, I'm going to start sharing just the funny parts of my day, the parts that remind me that life is comical and even Mondays, laundry days and bad hair days are opportunity-to-laugh-days.

Sunday, September 23 (2012)!!!

Well, last night I went to an Australian reunion/shindig dressed as a man. Let me stop first and just say that I'm discovering my own weird complex when it comes to my choices for dressing up. I don't know if it's my personality, my body type, my dissatisfaction with my own gender, or a combination of the three, but I always dress up as a man. For Halloween 2010, I went as an old man. The year after I showed up as Eminem. Last semester for a school project, I dressed up as Vinny from Jersey Shore. I hope you're starting to see the pattern developing here. Well, last night I brought Vinny back. If you've never seen Jersey shore, you 1) are the luckiest person alive and 2) do not know that Vinny is known for his dark eyebrows, which we tried to reproduce with a significant amount of eyeliner.

Men, if you didn't know, eyeliner was never meant to be permanent. I went to bed with that stuff still on my face, which I realize was my first mistake but...this morning as I surveyed myself in the mirror, I knew it had to come off. Combined with the living being on my head that we'll just call messy hair, I looked like a cavewoman from those Geico commercials. It wouldn't come off. As I was sitting there scrubbing so hard the hairs were coming out of my brow, I was having nightmares and visions of showing up to class the next morning with eyebrows that were not just dark, but huge and weirdly angular too.

I did finally get them out. I look like my normal human self again. Since I'm in the clear, I'll just go ahead and say it was pretty funny.

<3 laugh a little,
Manders