First on the agenda...
This gem of a story was just shared with me by my roommate. I laughed so hard I forgot how to inhale for a second, does that ever happen to anyone else?
CLICK HERE FOR SAID STORY!!
Once you're done wiping the tears off your face, prepare to read something slightly less funny (only because, in my opinion, bodily humour is right near the top of the funny pyramid).
I tried pulling an all-nighter last night, to be bombarded with the cold, hard fact that I'm not as young as I once was. This body doesn't bounce back like it used to anymore, and I'm just barely 21. It all gets worse from here, I'm assuming.
Ugh it was awful. It was like the dark side of YouTube, some sort of physical and cognitive twilight zone. Nothing was familiar, I had no idea how I got there, and my body was doing all these strange things it's never done before. Pfft, bounce back my rear, my body bounced back about as much as my soggy wet comforter during my laundry fiasco (refer to earlier blog).
I knew class was a mistake, but my current class attendance record really deprived me of the opportunity to skip. It was one of those days where I just had to show up to class so my professor could see my face...you know, just be there in body, nothing else matters. Which is good, because my body was really the only part of me that was there. As soon as my rear hit that chair, I had roughly 35 seconds before a slightly extended blink turned into a second-and-a-half micro nap. I know it was a nap because I woke up thinking class was over and my head did that awkward "fall-snap" thing so everyone knew what had just happened. Usually, though, the embarrassment of that situation gives you enough of a kick-start to stay awake for much longer afterwards.
Nope, not today. It started recurring almost religiously every 3 minutes. The class was 70 minutes long, you do the math. I started panicking. This wasn't your average sleepy class day, this was a crisis. My first solution: get up to go to the bathroom. Get some blood flowing, some cold water on my face, anything really. I stumbled down the hall to the bathroom, not really all that conscious and when I got there, 14 layers of memory foam couldn't have looked more comfortable than that bathroom floor. I sat down. Woke up. In that order.
Stumbled back to class hoping they hadn't all gone searching for me, but it was fine. I felt like the four children coming back from Narnia, what had been ages for me had only been seconds for the rest of the world.
No sooner did I sit back in my chair then it started happening again. Still panicking, I tried writing down every word she said thinking I could keep myself occupied, which is when the weird stuff started happening. Instead of it keeping me awake, my body started falling asleep one side at a time. My eyes started getting all bugged out but my right eye was twitching itself into shutting, my head was craning to one side and my forehead was strangely magnetic to my desk. Kind like this, only with more manic crazy:
Plus, nothing I wrote came out legible. I reviewed my notes after the fact to find phrases like "undertaindary feel better", "bad world you uncertained about probabilations", boosts others rosenful impicaration". I'm not joking. Also, there were random lines all over my page where I would start writing something and have another micro-nap against my will.
Literally, I spent five minutes pinching myself, I held my eyelids open with my fingers, I shook my foot uncontrollably, I sketched on my page, I tried listening to what she was saying, I poked myself in the forehead with my pencil, nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Needless to say, I was directly in the line of my professor's vision, and there is no way she missed all of this. I genuinely hope she saw everything that was happening and it made her day a little better.
Afterwards, I stumbled to my friend's house and don't remember anything until I woke up at 5 pm.
On that note, I'm going to bed.
Laugh when you're awake!
<3 Manders
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