Woman vs. Wild

Nature’s a sneaky little mongrel. I think the more serene and peaceful it seems outside, the more nature is conspiring to get you.

Today was an Indian summer kind of day, October 16 with a high of 70 degrees (that’s Fahrenheit for you Celsius adherents). Why wouldn’t you do your homework outside?

Julia and I meandered down to the lakefront. Immediately after placing ourselves in a location on campus about as far away from facilities as possible, I had to pee. Fortunately, I feel comfortable enough relieving myself outside. Unfortunately, there was not a location in sight where someone wouldn’t be able to spot my white little hiney from miles away.

Nature – 1

Amanda – 0

At St. John’s, there is something in the water that makes the squirrels a little loco crazy. They’ve been described with phrases like demonic little fiends, ugly, evil and conniving devils, and the like. They seem to hone in on fear too, and maybe redheads (considering Julia’s past experiences). Her and I were just relaxing after a concerned conversation about how especially lively they seemed today when, all of a sudden, something small and brown comes flying through the air at a phenomenal speed! Screams! Flailing! Panic! Fear!

That leaf had incredible squirrel-like qualities.

Nature – 2

Julia – 0

I’m not afraid of bugs. They’re ugly and are never up to any good, but fortunately my logic usually outweighs my irrational fear of freckle-sized creatures. There was, however, this one little guy that I had my eye on. He had been poking around my backpack for quite some time when I decided to let it go. If he crawled in there, he was going to regret it. Back to reading.

All of a sudden, I felt a tickle. Where? I’ll tell you where. I felt something small slowly making it’s way down the valley of the sternum. For those of you who don’t know which bone that is, take an anatomy lesson or, like I did, Google it. I’m very sensitive to things crawling in that area and I’m sorry, I panicked. It’s all fun and games until you have something creepy crawly in sternum valley! I pulled a feat similar to the vivid memory I have of my mom’s reaction when a grasshopper forcefully made his way underneath her shirt (I’m assuming it was a he).

Nature – 3

Amanda - 0